How Do I Deal with a Floozy Coworker?

I'm starting a new series for DL, where people write in to seek cunty but useful advice from you shark-eyed reprobates. If anyone knows how to face down one's problems and eat them, fuck them, or run away from them, it's Data Lounge users. Anyway, on to the story.

I have a coworker who is a world-class flooze, and I don't know if I'm right to want to judge and/or shun her.

Fashion: She wears her hair in a perm - yes, people still get those - and it's poofy enough that you can spot her across the parking lot. She wears chunky disco heels, tight camel toe leggings, and skimpy t-shirts. Every day. At least she wears a bra.

Behavior: She spends a lot of time out in her car, yakking on the phone and vaping. She does maybe four hours of work in a given week - Less if there's a maintenance worker in the building she can get to know.

Personality: She tends to start conversations by telling people about plainly obvious things that she's just learned. Yesterday, she told us all about the miracle of cage-free eggs ("Like, the chickens don't live in cages!").

Sexual Misconduct: She's WAY too forward with male coworkers. Tells them about her wild weekends, her many crazy exes, etc. She thrives on male attention the way a housewife thrives on white wine and gossip.

So, village elders/idiots: How should I get rid of this trollop? Am I wrong for thinking the rest of the cubicle farm should finally band together and stone her to death? Or am I just jealous that she oozes sexuality and I only ooze coffee breath?

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, OP.

Stealth Meghan Markle thread.

I love you, R1. Sounds like OP is just jealous!

I forgot to mention her obnoxious laugh, which carries across the entire floor.

Picture Chandler's ex-girlfriend Janice, only with a smoker's rasp underneath it.

Get the rumor mill flowing:

Genital heroes attacks, embezzlement stories, stealing lunches from the fridge, leaves skid marks in the toilet etc.

R6 / R7 is talking about herself. There's a health unit down the street, hon. Take your ID (any of them).

OP she wants none of your Mary ass. Probably laughs behind your back with the straight bros.

R9 Maybe I'm just mad that *I* don't get to wear Cha-Cha Heels to work every day!

I’m sorry, OP, but the way you described her makes me picture Toni Collette and that just makes me wanna root for her! You (and Toni) made her sound fun!

Get her fired. It's what she deserves.

I haven't heard "floozy" since the 70s.

Apparently, I'm Ann f'n Landers now too.

The better question is how the office gets rid of YOU.

I ran across a few of those in my career. I stay out of office drama. I learned long ago from a therapist friend that when dealing with annoying people it's best to "speak to their adult and avoid them." I treat all co-workers with professional respect. Some become friends but even then I don't confide too much until it's proven I can trust them.

Your co-worker is like a wacky side-show. In her case I'd be courteous and professional while enjoying the show. Don't get too obsessed or carried away with how annoyed you are by her. Sometimes people like that have good souls.