Almost every day, Franco would say, “I need to be with you.” We filmed all over Italy and at one point we were at a château, and he would come to my door, knock on my door late at night. But I kept it locked. I would literally put stuff, chairs and things, in front of it. I could hear him coming. During the day, he would say things like “I’m coming up to see you tonight” and I would say, “I’m not OK with that Franco, it’s not OK.” He didn’t listen. I didn’t have an agent, or anyone to talk to or protect me except for my acting coach, who was unbelievable, but at the time was on his deathbed.
At the same time, Franco was verbally abusive. It got to the point where he made me feel like I couldn’t act, I couldn’t do anything right, I couldn’t speak right, I couldn’t move right — everything I did was wrong. So I felt beaten down.
[Then], one night, I think it was when we were at a hotel in Sicily and my costar wasn’t there, he told me he was coming to my room. This time he had managed to get a key. I was in bed sleeping and he let himself into the bedroom and he got beside my bed and was over the top of me on the side of the bed as I awoke. He got in my face. There was a moment where I was telling him “No” and he told me, “We have to.” I remember his breath smelling of scotch. And this is the whole thing, and you hear it from the women who are opening up now about their own experiences with abuse: There’s a moment where, even though you are taught to be charming and have sex appeal as an actor, a line is crossed and everything changes. When someone crosses that line, when someone preys on you, there’s a panic that sets in. That’s what Franco did. He crossed that boundary and I felt as though I left my body.
He molested me in my bed.
He put his hands in places that I couldn’t even imagine and he did things that I am not proud of. But it’s not my fault. His pants never came off but I can [still] see him fumbling with his belt. He attempted to give me oral sex. I just remember being like, “God, please no. I’m OK, I’m OK.” I did nothing. I just lay there in bed. It felt like four hours but it was probably like 30 seconds.
In the moment, I don’t remember thinking, “Oh no, my career, I have to do this.” [Instead] I felt like it was a rite of passage, like I had to do it in a sense. I was vulnerable. I didn’t scream and yell. I didn’t physically stop him, and it took me 25 years to answer the question why not. There’s a moment when someone is being violated by a predator where it is a clear form of violence that creates trauma in the body. We have a fight or flight response. People say they “leave their bodies” and that’s what I did. When it was obvious Franco wasn’t getting what he wanted that night, he just left. He never tried to touch me again. I told him not to come near me again. He never said anything about it. For the predator who crosses the line they think that it’s OK.
