R144 I don't have a source. It's my interpretation, but it's crystal clear to me.
Sister Janet has been a favorite of mine since the 90s, but I always thought the lyrics were stream of consciousness like "Here. In My Head" and "Thoughts." Then I took ayahuasca, and the next time I played the song I realized that it's a totally straightforward account of an ayahuasca experience.
I'll break it down. You can choose whether or not to hear it as I do.
[quote] Master shaman, I have come
Straightforward account to making a pilgrimage to a shaman.
[quote] with my dolly from the shadow side / with a demon and an Englishman
A dolly has long been used in magical rituals. The shadow side refers to another, hidden dimension. She has made the pilgrimage with a demon—this may be metaphorical, or it may be a "term of endearment" for someone she knew—and an Englishman. That may be her husband, who is from Cornwall, or it may be another English person. She was living in England at the time the song was written.
So far, all of this adds up to her making a pilgrimage to a medicine person. She has prepared, bringing her dolly and her demon (many possible meanings), and she has gone with a companion.
[quote] I'm a mother / I'm my son
This is VERY typical of ayahuasca, and with breakthrough experiences with different psychedelics: interconnectedness, realizing that not only in a metaphorical way, but in the ultimate version of reality, we are all one. So here, the process is beginning, and she is realizing that she is the same person as the people she is close to, and we could extend this to say with all people.
[quote] Nobody else / is slipping the blade in easy / nobody else / is slipping the blade in the marmalade
I interpret this as a moment of realizing that the people who she has blamed for causing harm, for hiding blades in sweet things that she then ingests, are no different than she is. She has been blaming others, those closest to her, for surreptitiously harming her. She's now realizing that she is those people. "I'm them" could mean that she harms them back in the same ways, or it could be a realization that she's been harming herself--nobody else is doing it. Either way, she identifies with those people now.
[quote] but all the angels / and all the wizards / black and white / are lighting candles in our hands
Above, I described the phased processes I've always experienced with ayahuasca. Here, she is giving us phases of experience: First, she meets the shaman, prepared to do the work. Then, she is introspective and has an epiphany about her relationships and her accountability. Now, she is seeing apparitions: angels and wizards have materialized in front of her. I find it interesting that she says "black and white" here and also in "Beauty of Speed," which I believe to be about DMT, she sings she's coming out "of our black and white world."
Tori has talked quite a lot about her ayahuasca experiences with a shaman, and she often has discussed light and dark, black and white, the shadow side as compared with this world. She regards her ayahuasca "tea with the devil" trips as visiting her shadow, going into the dark, black world, and finding that it lends context to the light we all seek. She talks about balancing the two.
More in the next one...
