Chuck Norris has long been the subject of many a popular jokes and memes, including the ones that say Bigfoot once saw Chuck Norris, and also that Norris’ calendar goes from March 31 to April 2, because come on, who would fool Chuck Norris!
No wonder when Chuck’s spokespeople announced that the martial arts expert struck an aquifer that produced water from the ice age, it sounded like just another myth. But trust us, it isn’t. CForce Water, which packs quite a powerful punch, has now been put up on sale in Houston and around the state at all significant grocers, including H-E-B, Tom Thumb, Albertson’s, United Supermarkets and more than 300 convenience stores. This has been confirmed by Tyler Norris, vice-president of marketing at CForce Water Bottling.
The Hype
CForce Water contains a high PH level which is the cleanest and purest form of water that you can think of. An excellent thirst quencher, this water is as powerful a roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris, to put it that way! However, it is essential to clarify that this same water does not help the grass grow at his Lone Wolf Ranch in the Grimes County, in the vicinity. This is simply because Chuck Norris does not mow his grass; instead, he stands on the front porch and dares it to grow. It looks like neither the Almighty nor Mother Nature would mess with Chuck! Chuck and his wife Gena believe it to be a “gift from God,” a sign from above, thanks to that hot, sweltering day in 2011 when Norris’ ranch foreman Chris Tagudin struck the well by mistake.
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How Chuck And His Wife Made The Most Of The Ranch?
Located halfway between Navasota and county seat Anderson, the ranch is home to Norris and his family. The infamous drought of 2011 witnessed Tagudin choosing to dig three new water wells with the purpose of bringing some relief to the ranch. While digging the third one, Tagudin struck an artesian well that spilled 168,000 gallons of purified, drinking water. It flooded Lone Wolf Ranch and two other neighboring ranches. Chuck and his wife got to know that their ranch sat on a well which produced water more than 23,000 years old. They went on to lay the foundation of the CForce Bottling Company in 2015, wherein a pipeline delivers water approximately 7000 feet from the artesian well directly to the bottle. The best part is, the water remains untouched by man until it is opened since it travels from the source to the bottling plant. This state-of-the-art facility is positioned across Highway 90 from their ranch.
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Decoding The Mystery Of The Wolf Ranch
Delving deep into the mystery of the Lone Wolf Spring, as it is popularly referred to, let us tell you that if geological records are to be believed, there was an active volcano in that area, with hardened lava sitting underneath the ranch, water filtering through volcanic rock and eventually getting deposited into a deep, sustainable aquifer. The water that is produced from this spring is naturally pure, with high mineral content and minus any biological elements. This entire process acts as a natural filtration system, discarding hard elements to provide clear, clean water with a naturally high PH level and smooth, fresh taste.
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Plans In The Pipeline
According to Gena and Chuck, they intend to sell the water worldwide, using Chuck’s status as an international celebrity to promote it. What’s more, a share of the proceeds would go to their Kickstart Kids Foundation- a non-profit organization that teaches “character through karate”. It was founded in 1990 by Chuck Norris with the help of former President George H.W. Bush. For starters, they are expecting a tough competition from Premium Waters, Fiji, Smart Water and Evian.
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